puttu's first week in school is over

Puttu was admitted into Children's Garden School, last Monday, June 7th, 2010. It had been quite traumatic for both Puttu and all of us. Probably for the first time she had to leave her comfort zone and be amidst strangers for an hour a day. Each day as she entered the school gate she would have a very sad face. She won't cry. She won't even look back when she is being taken away by the teacher. She would just hold on to her bag, as if that was her only sense of security. It was very painful to see that sad face. I would rather that she cried. Handing her over to the school hands was so painful

It was when we went back to bring her that she burst out crying. This was also painful, bu

t then the relief was that she was back in my arms, and we were now going to 13 - the comfort zone for all of us.

Though crying would stop as soon as she got into the car and saw her Bingo chips or Dairy Milk chocolate, there was that undercurrent of sadness in her for an hour or two after returning home. The first two days, she actually slept off after returning home. So did I.

Since last night I was conscious of the fast approaching and inevitable Monday morning 8.50 am. The memory of last week's pain. It was as if somebody squeezed your heart for a second. Despite my reservations and anxiety, the Monday morning nevertheless came. As I was getting her ready, at one point, she briefly remembered the school image and said: "vaddu nanna". But, she quickly, diverted her attention by looking at the crocodile on my T-shirt.

Two things about Puttu surprised my today, the first day of the second week. Vasudha, me and Puttu left for school around 8.50. Puttu was sitting on Vasudha's lap. No talking. Her face was grim and sad. It looked as if she had accepted that going to school was a necessary evil. First thing that surprised me was when Vasudha said to her that she was going to school just for an hour and after that we would bring her back... OK? she said: OK.

After this terrible and unending one hour, Alex and I went back to school and went inside. When the Nursery class door opens, it is as if the doors of a torture chamber are burst open. Imagine a group of ten kids wailing simultaneously. Each one at a different pitch. I saw Puttu walking out with her bag. Very stable she was. She was not crying. I seemed to be more unstable. I went ahead of Alex and took puttu's hand. Very hesitantly, she walked with me till the gate. (They don't allow us to carry kids inside the gate). As we were coming out of the gate, Puttu saw all her classmates sitting on a mat in front of their teacher, and wanted to go back. She dragged me back to where the group was sitting. Some kids were still crying: "Mummy!!!", "Amma!!!@#$% ahhh! "Nanna".

The teacher was helping some kids to open their tiffin boxes. Puttu also wanted to sit there. I was really, but pleasantly, shocked. But we didn't have a tiffin. And I thought it would be too dangerous to take

out the only Dairy Milk in front of those 15

kids. You never know, they could even pounce on me. Asale manchi mood lo leru. I told Puttu, "we don't have a tiffin. come, let's go home."

She said ok, and we all came out.

She saw the car outside and said: "Amma, eh?"